It's May Already?

I realize it's been an entire month since you've heard from me. Apparently I can only focus on one or two things at a time. (Does anyone else have this problem?)

First there was this problem with my knee, then we all got sick. Sickness lead to an ear infection, and that was followed by insane focus on my research, which was followed by a week of stunning weather in which I completely avoided research, which has melted into a week of rethinking the way we're doing food and revamping our eating (yes, yes, we're still vegans, just trying to clean up our eating a little).

So yes, alive, working, thinking, and not blogging regularly like a good blogger should.

I posted a recipe on Plant Matters for a Cauliflower, Sweet Potato, and Cashew Curry this evening. It's a small offering in lieu of any sort of interesting post. 

Question for my Readers

Hello Friendly Readers!

For my thesis project, I'm analyzing mothering memoirs, looking for a themes in empowerment, guilt, identity, and desire. I'm sure more things will crop up, you never know.

My question for you: Are there any memoirs on mothering that you think I should be including, or that you found particularly helpful or moving? I'm trying to find a full spectrum, so memoirs by both feminist (or feminist-aligned) and non-feminist mothers.

I think I have a pretty good list, but I'm always looking for input. Let me know if you have any thoughts!

Writing, Writing, and More Writing

While I'm not technically enrolled in classes right now, I've been loosely working on my thesis for over a year. And by loosely working, I mean that I was very occasionally reading and taking notes until I changed my topic over the summer. Then I was working about once or twice a week here and there, until I finally kicked into high gear in November. Not a coincidence that this is when we were able to get a babysitter to hang with Felicity a few mornings a week, and I got more serious about carving out specific times when I get to leave the house and work.

I've been focusing my attention on an independent study that I never completed before we moved to New York. My professor was very gracious about the whole thing (I was pregnant and working and sick, so she just said to finish it whenever). I had a draft done in early January, waited over a month for the professor to look at it, and then basically rewrote almost all of it in the last 10 days. It's 28 pages long. I'm immensely proud of myself. I'm not going to claim it's the most polished thing I've produced, but it's a good solid paper with original theory.

And, the really great part is, after I get this thing in tomorrow (I have four hours of childcare in the
morning so I can put my finishing touches on it and get my annotated bibliography done), I get to focus on my thesis.

The background research is already done and I'm going to challenge myself to write for one hour every day, even on the days few days a week where I there isn't carved out time for me to work.

What is my thesis about, you ask?

Empowerment in mothering. I'm reading through mothering memoirs and looking at themes of empowerment, guilt, desire, and identity. After just writing almost thirty pages about empowerment and guilt in the second and third waves of feminism, I've feel like I have a running start. I originally was going to conduct a qualitative studies about feeding decisions of new mothers (in relation to guilt), but given that a) I want to finish my degree this summer at the latest, and b) once I am finished with my degree I can either start writing for money or find a job, a lady has to do what a lady has to do.

And, if current trends continue, I'll have a thesis that is 120 pages long instead of 80 pages. And my adviser will kill me. 

On a Thursday Night

I can't believe it's been over a month since I've written, especially when I used to make a point of posting daily. But you don't really want to hear about that, and I really don't want to write about it.

Today Ian and I hired someone to watch Felicity for 10+ hours a week, at least until the end of the semester. My work has been spotty at best (seems to be a theme), but I'm happy to report I've actually started writing (yay!). It's been a long time of trudging through books and taking a ridiculous amount of notes. Ian, in his wisdom, sat me down a couple of weeks ago and told me that I'm taking too many notes and spending way too much time in the research phase, not enough time writing. He was right, of course.

During Hurricane Sandy

So there's that. I'm excited to be making forward progress.

Other than the thesis/research, we've had a couple of things happen. Of course, Hurricane Sandy happened. It didn't seem like much as the storm was actually taking place, and we were all bundled in the apartment, safe and warm. We even went and took a picture outside, and this was during the worst storm surge.  It was only until we started looking online the next day, watching news reports and seeing pictures, that we really understood the horrific nature of the storm.

We were impacted in three ways from the storm.

First, my mom, who was supposed to be visiting for four days, had an extended visit of ten days. Thankfully we all have a wonderful relationship. Ian and I have offered to let her move in with us multiple times(she can sleep on the pull-out couch in the living room!), but she never takes us up on the offer...

Second, there was some local damage in Riverside Park, as you can see in the picture below. Mom and I went on a walk the day after and took some pictures - what was most striking were all of the leaves on the ground. So many colors and textures, all mixed together. The park staff has done an amazing job cleaning up, although much of this downed tree is still there, weeks later.

Third, the subways were, of course, closed for several days, and then re-opened with limited service. This wasn't too big of a deal for us as we don't depend on the MTA on a regular basis to get where we need to go. but it was a reminder that our family was priveleged and lucky to have suffered so little, while millions were without power for days (many over a week), clean water, or cell phone service.

Save the storm, my mom's visit was an incredible amount of fun. We did some jigsaw puzzles (I'm not embarrassed to say that I do love a good puzzle), made some wonderful cupcakes (which I'll blog about on Plant Matters in the next day or two), spent lots of time playing with Felicity, cooked, drank lots of tea, and played some Scrabble and Bananagrams. My mom also took some great photos of Felicity (thank you Mom!), which of course I feel obligated to share with anyone who will look. I mean, she's adorable, isn't she?

Below are some of my favorites.

 I can't believe small Flick-a-Dee is almost one! Here she is, in all of her splendor, on the once-white chaise in our living room, dressed of course in some very cute clothes. This child may only speak in raspberries, but she will be dressed well while doing so!


















Felicity was dressed a monarch butterfly for her first Halloween. Apparently one of Mitt Romney's grandchildren also wore the same costume, or so I'm told. 




The last two pictures are of us looking at the dog run in Riverside Park the day after Hurricane Sandy. Felicity is incessantly fond of looking at dogs, and talking about/to dogs. And this is what I mean about the crazy leaves. It's a small detail, but it is probably what I will remember most about Hurricane Sandy, how the green leaves looked on the ground next to the brown, red, and gold leaves, and what it felt like trying to walk through the park, pushing a stroller after the storm.

Maternal Thinking vs. Maternal Instinct

I read through Motherhood and Feminism by Amber E. Kinser two weeks ago. I was reviewing my notes this afternoon and came across this quote, which I absolutely love:

Understanding women’s mothering knowledge to be grounded in ‘maternal thinking’ rather than maternal instinct positions us to consider the concentrated effort that women put into mothering, rather than to assume that it comes to them as quickly and effortlessly as, say, as instinctive ‘fight or flight’ response to danger. The concept of maternal thinking also suggests that ‘motherly’ behavior and knowledge of children’s best interests are not merely grounded in biology. Rather than emerging naturally and exclusively between mothers and biological children, such behavior and knowledge emerge from purposeful thought and the engaged practice of caring for children… Mothering is not, then, the exclusive domain of biological mothers; it is a product one’s disciplined, focused, and persistent effort.

Next to the copied quote, I wrote "Yes!" I think that sums up my feelings nicely.

BOOKS!

I know I've been quiet lately. I've been busy changing what seems like millions of sticky, poopy diapers, cooking, and reading.

I haven't officially written about my updated thesis topic, but here's what's on my reading list right now:

Is Breast Best?: Taking on the Breastfeeding Experts and the New High Stakes of Motherhood by Joan B. Wolf









The Time Use of Mothers in the United States at the Beginning of the 21st Century by Rachel Connelly and Jean Kimmel

Feminist Mothering edited by Andrea O'Reilly

Motherhood and Feminism by Amber E. Kinser

The Paradox of Natural Mothering by Chris Bobel








Anyone want to guess at what I'm writing about and what my hypothesis might be? I'll mail you cookies if you're right!