Friday? Friday.

Sometimes there are too many projects, ideas, and things to do. So instead of making progress on any of them, I get overwhelmed, duck, and make progress on none of them. Why yes, I need to write for an hour, make headway on my memoirs, update the baby book, put two recipes up on Plant Matters, get dinner ready, get my pinterest and facebook links working on both of my blogs, work through two weeks of email, call the pediatrician, read the novel for April's Book Club, and do the laundry. Seems like a perfect time to waste an hour online, no?

My time management was crazy great before my family came last week and I essentially took a week off. Now I can't seem to get out of vacation (lazy) mode.

Consolation? At least we got to the park today, and I saw this smiling, happy face.

Writing, Writing, and More Writing

While I'm not technically enrolled in classes right now, I've been loosely working on my thesis for over a year. And by loosely working, I mean that I was very occasionally reading and taking notes until I changed my topic over the summer. Then I was working about once or twice a week here and there, until I finally kicked into high gear in November. Not a coincidence that this is when we were able to get a babysitter to hang with Felicity a few mornings a week, and I got more serious about carving out specific times when I get to leave the house and work.

I've been focusing my attention on an independent study that I never completed before we moved to New York. My professor was very gracious about the whole thing (I was pregnant and working and sick, so she just said to finish it whenever). I had a draft done in early January, waited over a month for the professor to look at it, and then basically rewrote almost all of it in the last 10 days. It's 28 pages long. I'm immensely proud of myself. I'm not going to claim it's the most polished thing I've produced, but it's a good solid paper with original theory.

And, the really great part is, after I get this thing in tomorrow (I have four hours of childcare in the
morning so I can put my finishing touches on it and get my annotated bibliography done), I get to focus on my thesis.

The background research is already done and I'm going to challenge myself to write for one hour every day, even on the days few days a week where I there isn't carved out time for me to work.

What is my thesis about, you ask?

Empowerment in mothering. I'm reading through mothering memoirs and looking at themes of empowerment, guilt, desire, and identity. After just writing almost thirty pages about empowerment and guilt in the second and third waves of feminism, I've feel like I have a running start. I originally was going to conduct a qualitative studies about feeding decisions of new mothers (in relation to guilt), but given that a) I want to finish my degree this summer at the latest, and b) once I am finished with my degree I can either start writing for money or find a job, a lady has to do what a lady has to do.

And, if current trends continue, I'll have a thesis that is 120 pages long instead of 80 pages. And my adviser will kill me. 

A Writing Course and Friday Update

I signed up for an online writing workshop specifically for stay-at-home moms. I know, it sounds a little silly, but I'm really excited about the whole thing! the workshop is through Writer's Digest and we officially started yesterday. By the end of February, I'll have written an essay and submitted it to a magazine of my choice with a cover letter. I'm thrilled.

Did any of you know I was interested in writing? I didn't know myself until we moved to New York, and Ian kept encouraging me to give it a try. I now have two book ideas: a starting guide to veganism, and a book about raising a daughter as a feminist. I also want to do a cookbook at some point, and my fabulous food-photographer friend that lives in Argentina promised she'd do the pictures (maybe she didn't know that I actually plan to write a cookbook at some point, but hey,  promise is a promise!).

My class is reading Writer Mama by Christine Katz. I'm only a chapter in but already finding it quite useful. Interested in writing, and a partial or full time stay-at-home mom? It's worth your $15, I promise.

 - - -

In unrelated news, Felicity is 14 months today and had three steps this morning, and my husband turned 30 this week. To celebrate his birthday, we're heading to Cafe Blossom, an awesome vegan restaurant in the Upper West Side, and I'm taking him to an Upright Citizens Brigade show afterwards. My, we're going to have such a lovely time.

And in seriously unrelated news, my never-ending headache is gone! I had the damned thing for over two months (and more migraines than usual), but simultaneously started a new medication and incorporating trace mineral drops into my diet and POOF, headache gone.

Personally, I think my body was short on magnesium, which also explains why I only got one headache over Christmas - I was obsessed taking my dad's chewy multi-vitamins twice a day. (They tasted like peaches, what can I say). So, I've also added a multi-vitamin back into my life, as well as an additional magnesium supplement.

I'm seriously a different person, I feel so much better.

That's all. Have a wonderful weekend readers!

BOOKS!

I know I've been quiet lately. I've been busy changing what seems like millions of sticky, poopy diapers, cooking, and reading.

I haven't officially written about my updated thesis topic, but here's what's on my reading list right now:

Is Breast Best?: Taking on the Breastfeeding Experts and the New High Stakes of Motherhood by Joan B. Wolf









The Time Use of Mothers in the United States at the Beginning of the 21st Century by Rachel Connelly and Jean Kimmel

Feminist Mothering edited by Andrea O'Reilly

Motherhood and Feminism by Amber E. Kinser

The Paradox of Natural Mothering by Chris Bobel








Anyone want to guess at what I'm writing about and what my hypothesis might be? I'll mail you cookies if you're right!

I've Been Doing Things

You've certainly noticed a lack of posts; I usually make an effort to post daily, yet there has been an almost two-week silence!

It's really all been quite a bit of readjusting and re-prioritizing. That and packing, and cleaning, then a three-day roadtrip, cleaning some more, and unpacking and organizing.

Ian and I decided we really weren't pleased with many of our choices and use of our time over the summer. Yes, I wrote a lot and started a few new projects, and we made steps in the right direction for revamping our budget to save more, and improve our eating habits, but the whole time in Ann Arbor felt very unfocused and confused. We spent several days talking and planning when we got back, and committed ourselves to a schedule that prioritizes my work as well as his. What this means, however, is that we're spending less time together in the evening, waking up earlier, and have less free time in general. We're getting serious, yo.

I love to blog, I love to write. I love working on my projects. But realistically, I need to focus on doing my part in keeping the family in order, then my research, then my physical goals, and then fun things like reading and blogging and watching videos of adorable kittens online (there is actually very little of this, but who am I to say that it doesn't occupy more time than it actually should?)/

We've also committed to not eating out at all, except for once a month on our lunaversary. This is actually pretty easy to do now; there are absolutely no restaurants within walking distance (or even a short train ride!) that are both affordable and cater to a vegan diet. Ditto with baked goods.

And so we are very intentional in planning out all of our meals, even our snacks. It means we are spending more on groceries (though about the same overall as when we were eating out 2-4 times a week and eating meat and dairy products), and that we are both spending more time in the kitchen. I'm the lucky one - I get to spend most of my kitchen time cooking! And then Ian cleans up my messes, which is a really big job. So when I say that a large chunk of time is going to "keeping my family in order," what I really mean is that I spend lots of time in the kitchen. Making delicious things. And lots of messes. But I'd like to focus on the delicious things.

I'm also taking my research much more seriously, prioritizing it above all else during my allotted 'Rachel' time. I haven't done this since the baby was born. Before, if Felicity was cranky, or I was tired, or the house was a mess (one of these three things was almost always the case!), I would choose to stay home. Now, save for a medical emergency and/or natural disaster (they often come hand in hand, no?), I'm out the door when I'm supposed to be. I'm started actually leaving my computer at home to avoid distractions when I'm out. And guess what? I'm working at about 3x the speed. I have to write out my notes by hand, but that's fine.

And exercising. I'm exercising now at night if I'm not working or cleaning. This instead of watching Gilmore Girls (maybe I can do both at once!?!). 

Add on to all of this a poor, sweet little thing about twenty-two pounds in weight that has her two front, top teeth coming in (ouch!), and has had a terrible case of the loose-poos for the past four days straight. As she has no other symptoms, we're pretty sure it's because of the teething and the pediatrician isn't worried... yet. But seriously, Felicity goes through about 15+ diapers a day now, and, despite our best efforts, has a diaper rash that only a forgetful and easily-distracted infant can endure. I'm pretty sure I would not be as patient with such a red, angry booty.

And her sleep schedule is all messed up due to the above. It's super not cool.

So yeah. I've been doing things.

I do plan on starting back with the Meditation Project very soon. We haven't done any sitting or walking meditation in the week we've been back, and I must admit that my daily mindfulness practice has also almost disappeared. Isn't it funny how a change in location can throw off your groove? I need to take some time to plan out how to be intentional with the project and work it into our grand schedule. Personally, I think this will involve leaving hand-written gathas around the house on note cards.

For example:

As I take off your steaming diaper,
I am reminded of the ebb and flow of life.
May your diaper rash heal,
As we heal ourselves and others.

I'm kidding. Sort of...

Find of the Day: Written Kitten

I like to look at pictures of cats, and no doubt you are reading this post primarily because the cute kitten to the left attracted your attention, and you wanted a better look at her.

I found a website online tonight that shows you a new picture of a kitten for every 100 words you write. So check out Written Kitten, you writers out there. If you like kittens, that is.

After I've Written My Thesis...

.... this will be my next project:

To read No Plot? No Problem: A Low Stress, High-Velocity Guide to Writing a Novel in 30 Days by Chris Baty. And then, as you might have already guessed, try to write a book in a month.

Gretchen Rubin wrote about reading Baty's book in The Happiness Project, and wrote her own novel in 30 days. It sounded like a fun and rewarding project. Essentially, you are charged with writing 1,666 words a day, which leaves you with a 50,000 word text once the month is complete. And, as much as I have on my plate to get done in the next few months, I have not been able to get this idea out of my head.

Yes, the book will most likely be complete garbage, but it's a good start to work up a little courage to work on some other writing projects, especially if I'm interested in trying to work my thesis into a book project at some point (quite possibly).

It seems to me that courage is an essential part of being a writer. You have to have the courage to sit down and actually do the writing, then the courage to show what you've done to others, then the courage to accept feedback (much of which will most likely be "constructive"), and then the courage to actually try to publish the damn thing. And if you get that far, the courage to admit that your book will most likely not be read or liked by anyone, and if it is read, you'll have to put up with persnickety readers (such as myself) leaving half-assed reviews on goodreads.com.

In any case, it takes a lot of courage to write. Courage and a lot of get-go, and a lot of self-

It seems like a 30-day book writing challenge would be like a swift kick in the butt. Yes, you can commit to writing so many pages a day (even if they're utter muck), and yes, you can get write a book. The first step of doing something well is knowing it can be done at all, yes?

I don't even know that I want to write a novel someday, but I have been working on a collection of letters and essays to/for Felicity that I started over a year ago, when I was pregnant with her, and have continued working on (though not with any sort of consistency).

Or Ian has suggested that I enter the somewhat lucrative and nearly quality-control-free world of romance novel writing. The best pen name I've come up with is Geraldine Plum.

Looming Thesis Topic

I have two things left to finish my degree:

1. Write a 20-30 page paper for an independent study.
2. Write a 80-100 page thesis.

I've been working somewhat consistently since January, taking a few hours a week for reading, note-taking, and thinking. I'm not registered for classes right now, so I have some time. I was originally going to graduate at the end of the Fall 2012 semester, but the professor I wanted for my chair is on a research leave, so it's being pushed out to the Winter 2013 semester.

In meeting with B. last night, I am even more perplexed about what my actual thesis topic should be. I have all of this reading I've done on queer identity and heteronormativity, which are great places to start, but she emphasized the need to "ground" the theory - interviews with participants focusing on specific questions, reviewing a host of blogs or seasons of a television show, a statistical survey, you get the idea.

I hadn't even considered this a part of what I needed to do, but I see the value in it. And I have to have a list of ideas to her by Friday (two days!). This is good - I need a swift kick to the rear to really get moving and have direction, but eeks McGregor!

I am also very interested in the juxtaposition of feminism and attachment parenting. B. suggested an alternative project of looking at the intersection of queer parenting and these two topics.

So maybe I should start working on both papers, and see what they each develop into. Or maybe I just need to make a decision and stop putting off the inevitable.

It's like buying a wedding dress though - something might feel really right, but by committing to it, you are saying "no" to every other possibility, even if you see something later that is a better value, or more figure-flattering. I suppose the wonderful thing about research is that you can always work on whatever you want, one does want ones thesis to be outstanding and special.