Saturday, September 18, 2010

On a rainy, Saturday afternoon in Michigan

I've adopted a local Starbucks as my study location #5. On a rainy and cold afternoon, you just can't beat a cozy Starbucks - the large armchairs, fireplace, tea latte, and a pumpkin muffin. Yes, please. The whole day has felt like Sunday to me, not sure why. We did our normal thing - farmers market, lunch out, short afternoon nap. Maybe I associate Saturdays with sunshine and warmth?

I also took a pregnancy test today. There have been... indications, shall we say, of a possible pregnancy that initially had us concerned. I say initially, because we weren't planning on a third McCready-Flora right now. I just started grad school, we're in a tiny apartment that can barely fit both of us, and we have no idea where we're going to be in a year. Plus, are we ready for a baby? We wanted to have more time together as a couple before starting a family. But, as we talked about the possibility, it turned from an "Oh no!" into a discussion of... could we stay in our current apartment? Could the Ian's small study work as a nursery? What would timing look like? Could I keep up with my classes if I was pregnant?

I'm sure you realize I wouldn't be writing about this if the test result was positive (although I am really terrible at keeping exciting secrets to myself). When only one line came up on the pregnancy test, I felt both relief and, unexpectedly, sadness. Yes, a baby would've been terribly inconvenient and changed our lives in ways I'm sure I can't even imagine, but we would have been so happy and scared and excited about a double line result on that little white stick. And this from the girl who swore she would never get married (um, oops) and didn't want kids.