Review: I'm Okay, You're a Brat!: Setting the Priorities Straight and Freeing You From the Guilt and Mad Myths of Parenthood

I'm Okay, You're a Brat!: Setting the Priorities Straight and Freeing You From the Guilt and Mad Myths of Parenthood by Susan Jeffers

My rating: 1 of 5 stars



I suffered through over half of this book before I finally dropped it for good. I thought maybe it would eventually organize itself into something thought provoking based on the reviews, but Jeffer's writing is unorganized, lacks depth, and isn't helpful at all at answering the questions that would lead a parent or potential parent to this book. I can understand how a really frustrated parent that went into mother/fatherhood with glossy expectations would find solace in Jeffer's words, but an essay would suffice. To save you the trouble, here are Jeffer's main points:

• Jeffers loves her kids but really disliked being a parent and seems to regret procreating (apparently all of her friends and examples feel the same way)
• Only a select few find joy and fulfillment in having kids
• Children are messy, angry, crabby, selfish, and will fill you with rage and probably wreck your life
• Children will ruin your marriage/relationship

If you are deciding to have or not have kids, or the timing to do so, I would strongly recommend The Parenthood Decision by Beverly Engels. This is an extraordinarily helpful read that helps you sort through motives, readiness, and discusses having children in relation to your goals as an individual and a couple.



View all my reviews

Review: Thinking Critically about Research on Sex and Gender

Thinking Critically about Research on Sex and Gender by Paula J. Caplan

My rating: 5 of 5 stars



This is a fantastic primer to thinking about questions of gender and sex in social sciences research. It was a little basic for my current interests, but a fantastic introduction to the issues. I wish this book was required reading in any intro to psychology course.



View all my reviews

Review: Exploring Women's Studies: Looking Forward, Looking Back

Exploring Women's Studies: Looking Forward, Looking Back by Carol R. Berkin

My rating: 3 of 5 stars



I finally got through this whole book of essays for a project for a professor I'm working with. After having to write on each one, I'll say this: some of these essays are amazing, thought-provoking, and well-written. Other essays should have been edited out and had nothing to do with the theme of the book.



View all my reviews

Hello Yaris!

Ian and I bought a new car! I've had a tolerate-hate relationship with the 'ol burgandy Grand Prix for the past two years, and with well over 100,000 miles on it and a few thousand in repairs in the past 6 months, it felt like we were driving a ticking time bomb.

So we traded it on in for a shiny, white Toyota Yaris. It's a hatchback, or "five-door lift back." I never thought of myself as a hatchback kind of girl until I saw these adorable little cars zipping around town. They get great gas mileage, as safe as a compact can get, and... the Yaris is affordable for two grad students trying to scrape by

But seriously, isn't this just the cutest little car?!?

A Busy Girl

Things are busy right now. I made a hard decision this week to not continue my graduate assistant (GA) position into the next semester. Right now, it's just plain difficult to find the time to commit to the hours. In conjunction with the time now, I'm considering what I'm realistically going to need to do to graduate within the time line I want, and I'm also interested in trying to fit in some psychology counseling courses that would allow me to get certified as a family and marriage counselor, or a sex therapist after graduation if the doctorate program doesn't work out. This could be for any variety of reasons, but good to have a back up plan, right? Plus counseling skills can't hurt... can only make me better at my current position at GreenPath and whatever future endeavors take up!

I made the decision to not renew my contract when I realized what my time actually looked like. And it's insane:

Monday: Work on GA stuff in the morning, GreenPath from 11:00 AM - 7:00 PM, work out when I get home for 30-45 minutes, dinner with Ian, a few hours for homework.
Tuesday: GreenPath from 8:30 - around 4:00 PM, class at 5:30 - 8:10 PM, work out, dinner with Ian, homework.
Wednesday: GreenPath from 8:30 - around 4:00 PM, class at 5:00 - 7:40 PM, work out, dinner with Ian, homework. (Notice a pattern yet?)
Thursday: Homework/GA stuff in the morning, GA hours 12:00 - 5:00 PM, class from 5:30 - 7:10, work out, dinner with Ian. But I don't do homework on Thursday nights. Thank the good lord.
Friday: Work from 8:30 - around 4:00 PM. 2-3 hours of GA work, RELAXATION.

The weekends have a little more space in them usually. We do our errands and shopping on Saturday and usually sleep in a little. Sometimes I'll do a few hours of work, but usually I save Sunday as my crunch day. Overall what I realized is that without the GA position, I work on average about 30 hours weekly, have 9 hours a week in class as it is plus homework time. I'm usually going from 8:00 in the morning when I leave the house until after 8:00 when I get home, and then it's more homework and exercise and eating and sleeping. Plus, I'm not getting enough sleep, which means I'm crabby and weepy, which makes me a bad partner for my baby, this (somewhat) perfect man cooks and cleans and rubs my back and says encouraging things, even when I get weepy-mascara goop all over his shirts.

So I sent my adviser and the department head my decision tonight. It's been on the table, and really, the GA position has been the thing to fall behind, my classwork and my job are too important to me to not put full effort into, and I don't always have the energy and time for the final hours. So I'll finish out the last 7 weeks of the semester and then have a little more time to deal with things. At least, that's the hope!

Roasted Eggplant Soup

The motor for our blender and food processor pooped out this week. Ian and I were planning to make a roasted eggplant soup with our last farm share veggies. and then realized this evening we had nothing to make it creamy and delicious with!

Enter trip to Target for the IMMERSION BLENDER. Our good friend Em whipped out her immersion blender out at a jam-making party a few weeks back, and I must admit I was terribly jealous at how fast and mess-free it was. Boiling pears and sugar into pear sauce in mere moments with no messy back and forth between blender and pot? I believe I will!

So we picked up this little dude. Exciting, right? And red (yes mom, red) to match my standing blender. Because Ian spoils me rotten like that.

Our vegetables are currently roasting away for our soup, so I can't tell you how the soup turned out yet, but here is the recipe for Roasted Eggplant Soup at Epicurious.com. Also see Smitten Kitchen's beautiful pictures, my original inspiration.

I'm off to make some Gruyere croutons for the soup. Nomnom.

Butternut Squash Gratin Recipe

It's fall!

Ian and I made my favorite fall dish, Butternut Squash Gratin. This is my fifth fall making it, and I've gradually worked out a recipe that is pretty darned delish.


Butternut Squash Gratin
Smaller butternut squash have more flavor. It's more work to cut up a few of these, but the results are worth it!

3-4 small-medium butternut squash, peeled and cut into 1-inch cubes
1/2 cup flour
1 Tbsp. butter
2-3 onions, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
2 cups broth (vegetable or chicken)
several sprigs fresh sage, minced and divided
thyme (fresh or dried)
rosemary (fresh or dried)
4 slices high quality bread
olive oil
2-4 oz. grated Gruyere cheese (or a nice Parmesan)
1/2 - 3/4 cup milk, warmed (recommend whole milk)

Toss the cubed squash in the flour until well coated. Salt and pepper, and set aside.

Heat a non-stick skillet over medium heat. Melt the butter and add the onion and garlic, along with half of the sage and a pinch of thyme. Saute until the onions began to caramelize and brown. Add the broth and increase heat to medium-high. Stir occasionally until almost all of the broth is absorbed and very little liquid remains. Take the onion mixture off of the heat and spread in the bottom of a 13x9 baking dish.

Reheat skillet over medium heat with 1 Tbsp. olive oil. When the oil is hot, place just enough of the squash cubes to cover the pan in a single layer. Cook, tossing gently every minute or two until squash begins to sizzle and starts to nicely brown, about 7 minutes. Place cooked squash on top of onion mixture. Repeat until all of your squash is cooked, usually 2-3 batches depending on your pan size.

Time to make your breadcrumbs! Run the bread through a food processor to make crumbs. Return your non-stick skillet (wiped clean) to medium-low heat, and, if you want, heat a small amount of butter or olive oil. Add the bread and 1-2 teaspoons rosemary, and some salt and pepper. Toss the breadcrumbs and continue to cook about 5-7 minutes until they begin to brown. Set aside.

Sprinkle the cheese and the rest of the sage evenly over the squash mixture, then pour over the warm milk. Cover with tinfoil and cook at 400 degrees for 25-30 minutes. Uncover the squash and sprinkle the breadcrumbs over the dish. Continue cooking for 15-250 minutes more, until the squash is browned and sizzling.

Nothing Terribly Exciting

I feel bad not having contributed to the blog in about three weeks. I'm very busy and having lots of thoughts. Unfortunately many of the ideas I'm learning about and mulling over... wouldn't be very interesting for anyone else, save a few people from my department, who I'm pretty sure don't read this. See, aren't I considerate in saving you from reading boring things?

I'm really struggling to develop a schedule and succeed in time management. Too often I suddenly realize it's one the morning (or later!), and I haven't finished my reading or the paper due the next day and have been wasting time on facebook or doing kenken or any other number of unproductive activities (but kenken is supposed to make you smarter - so there!). And on reduced sleep, I'm not as good a counselor, don't think as clearly in class, can't study as effectively, and am a crabbier wife.

This all said, I pushed myself so hard last weekend and this week, Ian and I spent some really nice time together last night after class. We got a burger, had some wine, and just hung out for a few hours. Guilt free. We're trying to at least spend 30-60 minutes a day together for some "us" time, whether that's cooking a nice dinner together, or reading before bed.

Well, I've got email a million students and make some phone calls.
Happy Thursday all!

On a rainy, Saturday afternoon in Michigan

I've adopted a local Starbucks as my study location #5. On a rainy and cold afternoon, you just can't beat a cozy Starbucks - the large armchairs, fireplace, tea latte, and a pumpkin muffin. Yes, please. The whole day has felt like Sunday to me, not sure why. We did our normal thing - farmers market, lunch out, short afternoon nap. Maybe I associate Saturdays with sunshine and warmth?

I also took a pregnancy test today. There have been... indications, shall we say, of a possible pregnancy that initially had us concerned. I say initially, because we weren't planning on a third McCready-Flora right now. I just started grad school, we're in a tiny apartment that can barely fit both of us, and we have no idea where we're going to be in a year. Plus, are we ready for a baby? We wanted to have more time together as a couple before starting a family. But, as we talked about the possibility, it turned from an "Oh no!" into a discussion of... could we stay in our current apartment? Could the Ian's small study work as a nursery? What would timing look like? Could I keep up with my classes if I was pregnant?

I'm sure you realize I wouldn't be writing about this if the test result was positive (although I am really terrible at keeping exciting secrets to myself). When only one line came up on the pregnancy test, I felt both relief and, unexpectedly, sadness. Yes, a baby would've been terribly inconvenient and changed our lives in ways I'm sure I can't even imagine, but we would have been so happy and scared and excited about a double line result on that little white stick. And this from the girl who swore she would never get married (um, oops) and didn't want kids.
 

First of all, our exciting new Ypsilanti finds that we just can't get enough of:

• Dom's Bakery - The absolute best apple fritter I've ever had. As they're only about a half mile away, we now have a new rule that we can only walk to Dom's, as our doughnut runs were becoming much too frequent.
• Pacific Beach Burritos - A shout out to Emily and Hung for suggesting this gem. Best burritos and tacos I've had in the states, I think. It's no Tacos Tumbras, the taco joint we found in Acapulco on our honeymoon in May, but the concept is the same: Tortilla. Meat (with cheese, maybe with eggs) or Veggies. Salsa. I wasn't terribly impressed with their grilled veggie burrito, their different meats are outstanding and drool worthy. 

Well, I've had my first two classes this week. I've yet to enjoy my Psych Statistics class (starting this Tuesday), but my text book came in the mail and thoroughly terrorized me. The first chapter looked familiar, but after that... Eeps McGregor.

My other two classes are Feminist Thought (feminist and women's studies theory) and, the program capstone, oddly enough, Colloquium: Research on Women's and Gender Issues. It was very strange to have my very first course in grad school be the capstone, but since I'm trying to kick this program out in the next 10 months, you do what you have to do.

Well, my goal is to write a paper in the next two hours, so here I go.