Yeah, about that... // Le Grand Schedule

Ian and I spent a greater part of a weekend in January talking about what we wanted to accomplish, from dreams for the future, to things we want to do in the next year, to how we want to plan our schedules day-to-day.

On reflection, we did get ourselves organized in many ways. If anything, it was good to sit down, talk, and plan things together. We're really great at making plans. We are less awesome at implementing all of them. but one step at a time, no?

Somethings that I want to do just aren't feasible right now, like taking yoga classes (cannot afford) or getting in any sort of decent cardio workouts (my body just isn't ready after surgery two months ago, I tried this and overworked myself last week). But at least it's all written out there, right?

The best thing we did was set up daily and weekly schedules for ourselves. I won't way that we've been perfect at keeping them, but we've made vast improvements already. And, as the baby can attest, it's nice to have a little structure!

Daily Schedule
6:30 am     Ian (and possibly Rachel) wakes up
7:30 am     Ian is at the office
12:00 pm   Ian comes home for lunch (which Rachel has ideally prepared in advance)

1:00 pm     Ian is back at the office

4:00 pm     Ian comes home and goes for a run

5:00 pm     We make dinner together

7:00 pm     Felicity gets ready for bed: baby is bathed, lotioned, nursed, swaddled, and read to

8:00 pm     Rachel and Ian spend an "us" hour - game, reading together, talking, cuddling, etc.

10:30 pm   Electronics off, reading in bed

11:00 pm   Lights out (12:00 am for weekends)

And in all of this, Flick usually goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:00 pm, and will either sleep through until about 4:00 or 5:00 am, or wake up once to eat around midnight. She'll often go back down to sleep until 8:00, which isn't half bad. She also tends to have a longer nap in the mid morning, and one or two shorter naps in the afternoon.

Weekly Schedule

    Monday: Normal Schedule (Ian teaches)

    Tuesday: Ian is home in the afternoon, Rachel leaves from 1:30-4:30 pm to work on thesis

    Wednesday: Normal Schedule (Ian teaches)

    Thursday: Normal Schedule, Rachel has book club / play group at 4:00 pm

    Friday: Rachel has moms group in the morning; Ian is home in the afternoon, Rachel leaves from 1:30-4:30 pm to work on thesis

    Saturday: Sleep in and do late brunch, Rachel gets three hour window out of the house, Ian runs one hour, Ian works two hours

    Sunday: Ian works for five hours, Ian runs one hour

Household

• The kitchen is cleaned every night (this was a big one for us, we're great at letting it go)
• Ian is in charge of garbage/recycling every day
• Bathroom is cleaned every Tuesday (Ian)
• Mop kitchen and Sweep/Vacuum apartment every Wednesday (joint effort)
• Rachel does the laundry and changes sheets every Thursday
• Rachel keeps the living room straightened
• Ian keeps the bedroom straightened

We're not perfect by any means, but we've implemented as much as we seem capable of handling (I had a rough week emotionally and physically), but so far everything is going really well.

I'm sure I'll write more on the actual goals that I set for myself at a later point, but it's nice to revisit all of this about one month after we set up our schedules and to see that we're actually following a fair amount of it. Yes!

Weekly Menu

I wrote a menu for next week, but it's a really good one and I'm excited for it! We have several dinners out, so it's a little shorter than usual.

Breakfasts:
Eggs Baked in Peperade, served with crusty bread
Chocolate-Peanut Butter Smoothie
Green Breakfast Smoothie
Oatmeal / 10 Grain Cereal

Lunches:
Taco Salad with Ground Beef and Avocado
Grilled Goat Cheese Sandwiches with Figs and Honey, served with Side Salad
Roasted Beet Bowl with Goat Cheese
Tuna Melts

Dinners:
Stir-Fried Chicken and Vegetables with Spicy Thai Basil Sauce, served with Jasmine Rice
Chicken Burgers with Peanut Sauce, served with Roasted Sweet Potatoes
Winter Squash Risotto with Sage and Parmesan, served with Braised Greens

Weekend Brunch:
Whole Wheat Pancakes with Blackberry Syrup and Root Vegetable Hash with Poached Eggs and Parsley Pesto

I'm a little in love with this menu, aren't you?

Recipe: Green Breakfast Smoothie

Green? That's right, green.

Blend the following:
1 sliced banana (could be frozen)
1 apple, cored and in large chunks
1 1/2 cups chopped kale (stems removed)
1/4 cup soymilk, coconut milk, or skim milk
3/4 cup orange juice
1 Tbsp sugar (optional)
Dash of salt (optional)
10-12 ice cubes

This is seriously delicious and an excellent way to start the day. Serves two!

Weekly Menu

For the week of 1/23/2012 - 1/29/2012

Lunches:

   Roasted Portobello Sandwiches

   Carrot & Ginger Soup

   Baked Potato and Greens Soup with Potato-Wedge Croutons

   (the rest of the days get leftovers)

Dinners:

   Chicken Rama Thai Delight

   Yellow Peppers Stuffed with Quinoa, Corn, and Feta Cheese

   Chile Cornmeal Crusted Tofu served with Pepita Mole and a Southwestern Corn Pudding

   Pad Thai with Shrimp

A Depressing January Day / New Mom Blues

I kind of gave up today, or rather, I took a day off.

Felicity is seven weeks old today and has had a few really frustrating days. It's the usual new baby stuff - fussing for hours, not really wanting to go to sleep but being so tired, not nursing effectively. Of course all of this causes two tired parents to not be at their best as well and Ian and I ended up snapping at each other last night. We don't usually fight and of course apologized in quick order, but it still feels like some sort of betrayal.

Ian and I made a tentative schedule last week and split up the household chores as best we could. This was on my initiative as I felt the apartment constantly spiraling towards chaos and felt bad that Ian ends up doing most of the housework, just like when I was really pregnant and legitimately couldn't do a whole lot. Now that I can walk and kneel and lift (hurray for reaching six weeks postpartum!) and am not working, it feels like I should have all the time in the world to get things in order.

But that's the thing - when Flick is awake and happy, I want to play with her and help her little developing mind. Today I read her three Dr. Suess books and she smiled and cooed for at least fifteen minutes straight: heaven to me. She enjoys being sung to and talked to, and is growing so fast. And of course she wants to eat a lot. Nursing hasn't been completely smooth, but we're on a pretty good track now. My breasts don't seem to be producing quite as much as they did, so she's eating more often and for longer periods of time. Again, this is okay but is time consuming. And then the fussies! I'm usually good at guessing what she wants, but sometimes nothing will satisfy, or she won't sleep for hours and I (or Ian and I, if he's home) will pull our hair out trying to help her find happiness, all while trying to remain calm and a source of comfort instead of further stress for her.

So when she's sleeping, I don't want to cook or clean or work on my schoolwork. I want to sleep or work on my craft project (hey, at least it's something) or read or watch a show or just spend a ridiculous amount of time on facebook. So that's what I did today. I decided not to do anything. My two accomplishments: I took a shower and watched an online slideshow of baby poop.

Ian came home to a frazzled lump of a wife with his lunch today. He helped straighten the living room and gave me a big hug and a kiss, and returned to work. I've been here all day, and even though it's on my chores list to get the kitchen spotless before bed every night and today was supposed to be laundry day, I've sat all day with the baby on the couch. I just can't make myself do anything. I'm tired and lonely and feel guilty that Ian has to come home to this apartment and a fussy me when he's been at work for fourteen hours (he normally isn't gone so long but he had a special dinner tonight for the fellowship).

Maybe I just need to leave the apartment, only now it's almost 10:00 pm and Felicity is asleep in her bed (this is good, at least).

I really hope this is a one-day sort of terrible black cloud and that tomorrow I will be back to my normal, only somewhat-sulky self.

Review: The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer

The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer by Harvey Karp

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



The advice in this book deserves five stars, it really does work.

The book gets four stars it could've been written in about 5-10 pages and had a little more scientific backing. If you're on the fence about reading it, I will save you the time and direct you to an ehow.com website that has the basic tenants of Karp's "Cuddle Cure": http://www.ehow.com/how_2307510_soothe-crying-baby-cuddle-cure.html.

Happy swaddling!





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Review: Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby by Tracy Hogg

My rating: 1 of 5 stars



I purchased this book following the recommendations of other new moms on babycenter.com (great website, by the by). My husband and I sat down to read it together, but after an hour going through some of her material, decided it wasn't worth continuing (I think we read the second and third chapters). Leaving her annoying writing style aside (for the sweet love of god, I'm not your 'luv' and don't like being talked down to), no part of her book is based on scientific studies or fact. The one study she does cite doesn't remotely support what she wants it to. From the good research that's currently out there, as discussed at kellymom.com and other websites, some of her basic ideas cannot be supported - letting your baby cry it out sometimes (harmful, does not equal independence!), feeding your baby every 3-4 hours (newborns typically feed more often in the beginning and babies cluster feed during growth spurts), formula feeding is just as good as breastfeeding (studies consistently show that breast milk is better for the baby in the short and long term)... I could go on.

The helpful things she does have, like the feeding and activity chart, and the list of baby's cues can be found online for FREE.



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The Baby Is Here / Birth Story

Felicity Brian McCready-Flora is currently five days old and is napping, swaddled on my lap as I type (I know, I'm talented). It has been an exhausting week, but thanks to my amazing mother and husband, an amazing week. I've typed out her birth story, and then there are pictures below.

Love from New York!

Felicity Brian’s Birth Story

On November 30^th,  two days after my estimated due date, I had my first contraction around 3:30 PM. I’d been having prodromal labor contractions for four weeks, but could immediately tell that this contraction was different and most likely “the real thing.”

I started rocking on my birth ball and timing contractions. They started at about 45 seconds in length, two minutes apart. Within fifteen minutes, the contractions were within a minute and a half apart and were already intensifying and getting longer. As I was leaning over the bed through one, I had a small felt a small gush of water. I had my mom call Ian around 4:00 PM and tell him to come home immediately, and threw a few final things into our bags.

Ian was home within 10 minutes (he works two blocks away) and we were out the door a few moments after that. We have been working with the Brooklyn Birthing Center, which is a good 45 minutes away not in rush hour traffic. We attempted to hail a cab, but no one would take us so far due to changing shifts. I was on the phone with our midwives, telling them what was going on when a car service dropped someone else off across the street and offered to drive us.  As soon as we were settled in the car, my midwives called to say they wanted me to get to the nearest hospital – with rush hour traffic and the president and Justin Beiber in town for the tree lighting at Rockefeller Center, they were concerned that we wouldn’t make it to them in time as the contractions were already over a minute in length and getting steadily closer together.

We changed course and were at a New York Presbyterian (Columbia University) within 10 minutes. When I was checked, I was at four centimeters. They admitted me within the hour and we set up in a birthing suite. The staff was very respectful of my wishes for a completely natural birth (barring no complications), said I would be free to move around, use the shower, and would be able to push in whatever positions I chose. 

By the time we’d been in the labor suite for an hour or so, they checked me again and I was at six centimeters and my water fully broke (apparently it only “leaked” earlier in the day). The contractions were getting increasingly painful and at this point I was getting little to no break in between them. Although I had planned on moving around as much as possible during labor, I had intense back labor (baby was in a posterior position) and my left hip had been giving me extreme pain for over a week, so it was most comfortable to labor sitting up in the bed; I could barely stand or walk. They did let me get into the shower at one point, which didn’t necessarily help with the level of pain, but the water was soothing.

My mom and husband were so helpful during this whole time – they put pressure on my arms and feet and legs when needed (not sure why, but that felt amazing), let me squeeze their hands, let me stare into their eyes during contractions, and even went through my positive affirmations with me (these were not really worked out beforehand, but, as I recall, ended up being, “I can do this,” “I’m working with my body, not against it,” and “Yes, yes, yes”). 

By 11:00 PM, I wasn’t getting any break whatsoever between contractions, they pain level was at a 9 or 10, the back labor was getting worse to the point where I was having difficulty breathing even when I wasn’t in the peak of a contraction, and my whole body was shaking. I began to really lose focus, could not longer keep my breathing under control, and started screaming through contractions. I thought I was in transition and knew that if I was eight or more centimeters dilated I could keep going. I asked for a check, and found I was still at six centimeters.

I was getting really tired and could not imagine going on much longer and was so disappointed to find that I wasn’t in transition. I asked about pain management options but was told the only option was an epidural. I had been dead set against getting one the entire pregnancy but kept thinking about a discussion in our birthing class about the difference between pain and suffering, and I had definitely moved out of the working-with-the-pain and was in active suffering and could not imagine going on any further. I reluctantly agreed to get an epidural.

My labor and delivery nurse was so encouraging throughout all of this. While she completely respected my desire to do things naturally, she also pointed out that I’d been in active labor for over seven hours with little to no break between really intense contractions with back labor and was unable to get into many positions that would help my labor progress more quickly. This helped me immensely; I had done my very best, and pain management does have its place.

The epidural took a little while to administer, but the relief was immense and unbelievable. Where I’d literally been writhing in pain and screaming thirty minutes before, I was completely calm. My body completely shut down and I curled up into a tight ball to be able to sleep. I was unable to do much more than doze, but it was good to rest and my mom and husband were able to sleep a little.

They checked me around 2:00 AM and I was just fully dilated. They turned down the epidural and had me start to push about thirty minutes later. Unfortunately turning down the epidural did not allow me to feel much of an urge to push, but the back labor intensified again. I pushed in a few positions and was even able to get into a squatting position for a few contractions, but I they couldn’t tell that I was making any progress and the baby’s heart rate was getting very high. The doctor came in to help deliver and unfortunately would only allow me to push in a supine position (from my reading, the worst position to push in). I was told that if I was unable to get the baby out within thirty minutes, they would strongly suggest a section. I did my very best, but without being able to feel the urge to push and the pain really amping up with the position I was in, the baby couldn’t get past the 2+ station. The doctor told me he was worried about the baby and wanted to do a section. I told him I really wanted to try to push squatting, but he wouldn’t let me. I was so tired and in so much pain at this point and felt I could not do anything more. We agreed to do the section.

Felicity Brian was born at 5:48 AM, 8 pounds, 6 ounces, 20 inches long. The pain medication left my body shaking for a couple of hours, but I was able to nurse her briefly in recovery and actually hold her, which was amazing. 

I never intended to give birth in a hospital, to get an epidural, or have a cesarean section (recovery is, frankly, a bitch). However, in light of how quickly my labor progressed and then stalled, I think that even if I had made it to the birthing center, we would have most likely transferred to a hospital in Brooklyn and the results would probably have been the same. I was told many times while I was pregnant that my body was made to give birth, which I still believe, but also that birthing never goes according to plan, you just have to do your best and roll with what happens. The only thing I wish had occurred differently was the option to push more in different positions. I will never be positive that I did everything within my physical power to push the baby out naturally on my own. 

That said, we are so in love with and amazed by our little daughter and grateful that she is healthy and well.

An Update

Well, still here, still pregnant! As of today I'm officially 36 weeks and 5 days, which makes me full term on Monday. The baby dropped about a week or so ago and the contractions are revving up in intensity and frequency,* it's taking about three times as long to walk (waddle) anywhere, and we're getting really excited about having this baby in our arms.

The third trimester has really been peaceful and good for the most part. Yes, you're uncomfortable much of the time, really tired, and moving is painful, but I would take nine months of this over the PUPPPs rash at its worst in the summer (which only really bothers me at night, and I now know how to handle it), constant nausea, and horrific allergies. I'm not experiencing many of the common third-trimester major annoyances, such as heartburn (the only thing that gives me heartburn is oatmeal, which I now avoid), inability to get comfortable to sleep (thank you pregnancy pillow,** my hero), peeing-of-the-pants (not ONCE has this happened! I'm ecstatic about this), weepiness, ridiculous food cravings, hemorrhoids... And this is all good.

I'm also not nervous about labor. My co-worker tells me this is because I haven't been in labor before and I really should be panicking (thanks for the encouragement!), but I'm going to attribute it to my fantastic midwives who are encouraging and supportive and a vast list of women-positive books talk about how labor is a natural, healthy process that our bodies are designed to do with no/few interventions necessary.

As we are living in a one-bedroom apartment, the baby has a wall of one side of our room for her crib, changing table, and the dresser all three of will share. We have everything necessary except the baby's mattress and a changing pad and cover at this point. The baby's clothes are washed and waiting to be sorted and put away. The only projects that remain are making the labor/birthing playlist(s) and hanging the curtain in our bedroom. The idea was this - hang some curtains across the bedroom to create a sense of privacy/separation for us, and to create a hallway that goes to our bedroom (inspiration from Ikea.com, of course). We found a steel wire that we plan to drill into opposite walls, and some fantastic curtains to hang up. The only big problem is that we have no tools and very little mechanical abilities, so we'll see how this actually works out! It will look really nice once it's done... but the getting there will be something of a journey. It will most likely involve the throwing of some tools, lots of root beer and junior mints, much stomping around the room from Ian, and some coaxing from me.


Love from New York!


*My pregnancy books told me that as I enter the last month of pregnancy I may experience Braxton Hicks contractions but that they will not be painful. Bullshit.

**The pregnancy pillow is a large pillow that is U-shaped and oh-so-cushy. Ian and I call it "second husband" because it takes up so much room in the bed and I cuddle with it now instead of Ian.

Review: Let's Panic About Babies!: How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain, and Finally Turn You into a Worthwhile Human Being

Let's Panic About Babies!: How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain, and Finally Turn You into a Worthwhile Human Being by Alice Bradley

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



Sadly we didn't get through the whole book before we had to return it to the library, but this was so much fun to read through with my husband. Thank goodness for a lighthearted approach to pregnancy and having a baby to enjoy during the last (and quite ridiculous) month of pregnancy!

Four stars because sometimes it feels like the authors are trying a little too hard, but overall hilarious and a necessary dark view for this thing we call "the miracle of life" (who came up with that anyways?).



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