Review: The Huffington Post Complete Guide to Blogging

The Huffington Post Complete Guide to Blogging by Huffington Post

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



Admittedly, I skimmed this how-to on blogging all in one day, but I took notes to help develop my own blog, so I don't feel so terrible. The book does have good advice for starting a blog, including the pros and cons of several servers you set up with (I'm on blogger.com myself), for choosing content, and how to get yourself out there and hopefully, become a success.

The main suggestions that, in retrospect seem really simple, but are actually helpful are as follows:
- Have a central theme for your blog, something you're passionate about
- Have a simple and memorable name, same with posts
- Post often and respond to your readers' comments
- Get involved in the blogging community and get involved in conversations with like-minded blogs.

If you're interested in the Huffington Post, this lovely primer has lots of fun history and facts, and quotes from major celebrities in the blogging sphere. What's not to love?

Personally, I'm still trying to find my niche, but I'm trying to develop it a little and hope to have readers besides my husband and the occasional visit from my mom. We all can dream...



View all my reviews

Review: What Babies Say Before They Can Talk : The Nine Signals Infants Use to Express Their Feelings

What Babies Say Before They Can Talk : The Nine Signals Infants Use to Express Their Feelings by Paul Holinger

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


What Babies Say Before They Can Talk is a fantastic book about communicating with your baby. Admittedly, the title is a bit misleading. While Paul Holinger does spent the last third of the book reviewing nine facial cues that babies give to communicate - interest, enjoyment, surprise, distress, anger, fear, shame, disgust, and dissmell (a reaction to bad smells)- , the majority of this book is filled with excellent parenting advice, not only for babies, but for toddlers and even small children.

The general theme is this: try to interpret and listen to what your child is thinking or feeling, and respond with care. Simple, right? Not so; I think this takes some real discipline on the part of parents, especially when babies get a little older and are into everything. Holinger gives an example of a baby playing with the ribbon on a wrapped box, potentially ruining what an adult would value - it's looking pretty on a box. Most parents would chide a child for playing with the ribbon, and some would discipline the child for touching it. Holinger asks the parent to step back and ask why the child is touching the ribbon. The baby is probably interested because it feels nice and the mechanics of the ribbon are interesting and confusing - the baby wants to figure out how it works! In this example, by disciplining the child or scolding her, a parent may not be disciplining the baby's playing with the ribbon, but actually discouraging playfulness and creativity. Holinger suggests that a more appropriate response is to try to validate the child's curiosity ("Look at that interesting ribbon you found! It sure is soft, and look how pulling on one end makes it longer!"), and then, if needed, distracting them, or re-directing their attention, always letting them know why something is inappropriate instead of just saying "No!" ("I see that you're very interested in that riboon, but it's part of a present for your grandma, so we shouldn't play with it. But look at the bow on my shoe laces and the way these strings do the same thing, let's play with this instead.")

Holinger, using the backing of many scientific studies,* argues that parents should encourage children when they're interested, verbally affirm what they think a child is feeling or thinking, and be careful to always offer explanations when a "no" is given.

Holinger is a clear writer and the book was a fast and informative read. I really enjoyed reading What Babies Say Before They Can Talk after finishing Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina. Medina has a chapter on always validating a child's feelings and making sure they feel heard and respected, and I feel that Holinger's book was a more in-depth exploration of this topic. Holinger was also more liberal with actual parenting advice, whereas Medina more lays out what scientific studies show, and makes suggestions for parents.

Also, while the book says it is aimed at parents of babies from birth to speaking, I think it will be most useful for parents of babies from 12-30 months.


*A note on the studies - I would assume that they are all peer-reviewed studies and Holinger has an extensive list at the back of the book, but I would have appreciated the explicit statement that they are peer-reviewed studies that are sound, as well as consistent citations and references to the studies throughout the book, which are not given.

View all my reviews

Finding Joy [Part Five] / Bathtime with Felicity!

Topic of the Day (from Shelley Sealle's article on Finding Joy, as usual):

 Learn to deal with anger and conflict better. When conflicts with others arise, our outlook may become narrow until we’re focused only on the problem, leading to a self-absorption that can not only make the problem seem much more intense, but limits our ability to see the other person’s viewpoint or have compassion toward their suffering. Research shows that venting anger in a way out of proportion to the circumstance that created it physiologically arouses us and makes us even more prone to rage. A cooling-off period, which can give distance and perspective, helps address the problem without such high emotions.

This is sticky. I have never been an angry person, but since the baby, I have certainly been angrier, feeling even rageful at times (which, when I confessed this on a post on babycenter.,com, another mom suggested I might have postpartum depression, which lead me to seek counseling. Isn't the internet fun?). 


While my emotions have stabilized quite a bit in the past two months, I'm definitely pricklier than I used to be, and sometimes have a difficult time not getting upset when my mind is telling me that it's no big deal, and I can almost always try to understand what prompted Ian to do something or say something (or not do or say). But sometimes, instead of speaking up when I'm annoyed or upset about something causes me to fester about it. Of course this never lasts long; I'm terrible at hiding when I'm upset, and Ian is really good at making me talk. So there you go.

The "cooling-off" period mentioned above really doesn't work for me, I usually get even more upset. Maybe that's for a real fight with shouting and what not. Ian and I have yet to engage in one of those; our disagreements tend to be more discussion-orientated, and if one of us gets upset, we are usually careful to repair really quickly and try to approach the matter in a different way. This is what $200 of premarital counseling on how to argue will get you (we figured it was a useful topic to go over with someone in advance). Or just read Fighting for your Marriage by Howard J. Markman, Scott M. Stanley, and Susan L. Blumberg and save yourself $185.01 - great book!

 On a cheerier note, Ian gave Felicity a (much-needed) bath this evening, and I took pictures. Because that's what moms do. And then they post them on Facebook, email them to relatives, save them as sceen-savers, and post them on their blogs. (I am guilty of the first, and now the last).

The light in the bathroom made everything look red, but you can see why I get absolutely nothing done during the day!

A Tuesday / Finding Joy [Part Four]

As I sit reflecting over this day, I am quite pleased. I say this eying piles of clothes that are either folded or waiting to be folded, knowing that the kitchen should be sanctioned off with police tape and a sign that reads: "Danger, leave for your own safety." We won't discuss the bedroom or the layer of grime you only find in New York City accumulating on a bathroom that was thoroughly scrubbed through on Friday morning. Actually, the entire apartment was lovely and clean on Friday.

But the cleanliness (or lack of) is not the point; I am happy and satisfied and feel peaceful despite the current war-zone-esque appearance of our four rooms on the seventh floor of a lovely apartment building in the Upper West Side.

This day was filled with beautiful moments. Hugs from Felicity when I picked her up and held her, kisses from my husband and small moments of joy with him, a fantastic dinner consisting of a really lovely fish chowder*, time reading on the bed with Felicity, going to the French book reading at Book Culture, and now baking cookies while listening to Satie. I mean, really, chocolate chip cookies and Erik Satie, while Ian sits at the table and grades final papers. This is bliss.

I'm making cookies for Ian's epistemology class as their final is tomorrow. I like surprising his class with cookies each semester for their final. It seems the decent thing to do; I believe Ian writes a difficult exam!


*In regards to my fish chowder: "This is some restaurant-grade shit!" Ian McCready-Flora, PhD.

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The prompts (more than one!) of the day from Shelley Sealle's article on Finding Joy are :

Learn to accept the past and move on from it. We can perpetuate our own pain and keep it alive, and stronger, by replaying old hurts over and over. Dwelling in the past will never change it, but only keeps you stuck there emotionally.

Adjust our attitude toward suffering. Hurt, pain and grief are part of life—but our attitude toward these hard times is critical because it affects how we cope with suffering when it comes. What we give the majority of our focus to becomes stronger and more present in our lives; when the temptation comes to wallow in past hurts or even current bad feelings, consciously choose to give mental energy and attention to the positive as well.

These two topics seem to overlap in many ways. The central theme seems to be: be present in the moment, learn from the past, and don't let the negative bog you down. Yes, it is important to recognize and feel bad things, for certainly glossing over them doesn't allow reflection or growth, but there is a distinct difference between recognizing and dealing with hurt or grief, and continuing to live in it for an extended amount of time.

So, full disclosure and all, I feel like I've been festering lately about past relationships. Not relationships as in romantic entanglements, though there was one that really did a number on me, but friendships, or the lack of friendships. Relationships can be so complex, so messy. I was thinking about one in particular today, someone that just friended me on facebook a couple of weeks ago, someone that I have all of these hurtful, messy associations with. I accepted the request (I've been ignoring her friending attempts for years), and then, after thinking way too much about her and the damage that she did, even having stressful dreams about her family, I unfriended her today, even blocked her so she couldn't contact me again. I hope I'm not the one in the wrong, but sometimes it's best not to allow someone like that back in, especially as we are in very different places with our lives.

So I've been thinking about her, was writing about a couple of girls that were mean to me in elementary school, and, even though I don't consciously think about him during the day, and am still having dreams about an emotionally-abusive guy I was involved with for several years. All of this baggage and hurt. I've invested too much time thinking about what would have happened if Ian and I had decided to in Michigan, or what if the University of Michigan would've accepted me into their doctoral program in 2009, or what if I had stayed at Calvin College instead of transferring to Bethel University, or what if I would have stayed in Minnesota after graduation instead of moving to Ann Arbor with Katherine? How does one let it just... go?

What I keep coming back to is embracing the now and what I have in front of me. Gretchen Rubin writes about her "Personal Commandments" in The Happiness Project, and I think this might be one for me: Embrace the now, live in the present (although I firmly reject the title of "Personal Commandments," as well as "Splendid Truths,"  I choose to not dwell in the would've/should've/could've, which means learn from error and move on to avoid festering.

Something else I've been working on is trying to imagine how I'll feel after a particular chore or activity is completed. For example, starting the laundry today. I've been avoiding it for... five days. I literally couldn't/wouldn't shower this morning because the only towel not in the hamper was damp from my husband's shower (I was actually planning on taking a shower and just using it, but when the shower water wouldn't warm up after two minutes, the gods seemed to be against basic cleanliness, so I just wet my hair and did a quick manual wash of my lady pits and bits). While I only started half of the laundry, and folded even less of that, I still feel somewhat accomplished - I actually started it.* And you'd better believe that I have a stack of white (bleached!) towels all ready to go! That and Ian has underwear, apparently this is all we need to keep our household functioning with any sort of order (?). I envisioned myself having clean towels, told Felicity, "Let's do laundry! We'll really enjoy having clean laundry," and did it.

And the same with the cookies. After making dinner and spending almost two hours getting Felicity to bed, making cookies seemed like quite an effort, especially all of the in-and-out of the cookie sheets. But I thought about how good I feel when I make Ian's class cookies, and how good I feel giving Ian a warm cookie from the oven (especially when he's frantically grading papers or working on a project), and then I thought about how much I love to bake, so I did it. And, assuming you read the first section of this insanely long post, you know that I had a blast making cookies.

Highlight of the Day: Today held so many beautiful moments and no clear highlight emerges (!). I had such a nice time baking cookies and just being with Ian, so I'll choose that.



*I don't know what it is about having a baby, it's probably the lingering postpartum depression, but I have an insanely difficult time starting anything that seems daunting. So chores can go awhile without being completed simply because it's hard for me to muster up the get-go. I swear I'm not lazy, I just get overwhelmed really easily, and I sometimes it feels easier to avoid something all-together than feel overwhelmed in the middle of it. Of course, we all know that things that are just waiting to be done haunt you and make you feel terrible. The ghosts of bathroom-to-be-cleaned are wretched, thesis-to-be-written are just terrible!

Book Review Inclusion / Finding Joy [Part Three]

I'm going to try to develop this blog a little bit, versus delete it and start a new one, which is my general inclination when I want to start a new project.

One of my new "resolutions" (yes, resolution, Gretchin Rubin) is to write for 30 minutes daily (in addition to any academic writing I do). I want this blog to better reflect what I'm thinking about and processing, especially as I start to work towards some long-term writing projects. We'll be realistic and understand that I probably won't actually update every day, but that's the goal.

I've also been taking the time to import all of my book review from Goodreads to this blog. As I've been going through, I realize that many of my so-called "reviews" are something along the lines of:

   "I really liked this book."
   "I did not like this book, what a terrible author."

Many of these reviews show poor pen(wo)manship and a lack of good reading, so as I think more about writing, and thus think more about reading, I plan to review every single book I read (besides the dozens of baby and children's books I read each week, of course) and actually do some sort of worthwhile review. This may not be interesting to anyone besides myself, but I need to be more engaged and take away more from my favorite pastime.

As a note, my first actual post on this blog was on June 8th, 2010, labeled "Laundomat Woes."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Now, on to the business at hand: Finding Joy [Part Three]

The prompt of the day from Shelley Sealle's article on Finding Joy is:

Ask, “What do I love about myself?” We rarely ask ourselves this; instead, our self-dialogue tends to be very critical. Write down all the things you really love about yourself, and refer to it to battle self-doubt, criticism and guilt.

This is one of those very difficult questions to address, especially on a public forum like a blog. I shall attempt to be as honest and straightforward as possible.

• I love that I can be and am easily pleased, and small things make me happy.
• I love that I am fairly aware of what is going on internally, and can usually find a way to address what is bothering me. For instance, after the baby was born, something that was (is?) contributing to my postpartum depression was loneliness. As lame as it sounds, I joined meetup.com, found a great moms' group, started attending several weekly events (even though I hate meeting new people and am shy), and have made two friends and have ten or so other women that I enjoy seeing on a weekly basis.
• I love that I get excited about taking on new projects. 
• I love that I am curious and always want to learn new things. This is reflected in my working towards my master's degree (even though it can be a drag sometimes and difficult to actually buckle down and do the work), and learning German, for fun!
• I love that I have curves, no matter how much weight I gain or lose.
• I love that I can carry on adult conversations, even if I've been sitting at home with a baby all day thinking about diapers and talking to someone that can only babble in response.
• I love that I am a really good cook; most of the time I step into the kitchen, I produce a really tasty meal or treat. I think this is rarer than I sometimes assume.
• I love that I am always wanting to improve not only myself, but my relationship with Ian, and now my relationship with Felicity.
• I love my freckles.

There are some things that I think I like about myself, but I'm not sure if they're entirely accurate or not. For example, I wanted to write that I'm a good friend, but when I stopped to think about it, I'm not sure that I am. I forget birthdays, am not good at correspondence, and even if I have a good friend down the street or across the hall, I'm not good at initiating spending time together, even if I'd really enjoy it. However, I think I am the sort of consistent friend that will always support you and be there for you, that will celebrate your progress and joys in life, and grieve with you when you have a break-up or there is a death in the family.

My communication skills are something else I wanted to put on the list, but then second guessed myself. Overall I feel like I am a good communicator, especially in my marriage. But then I actually think about it, and although I am good at many things, such as saying "I'm sorry," reading Ian's and my emotions and moods, and working through issues verbally with him, I'll sometimes (more often recently than not) build up resentment for little things during the day and then get angry but not want to talk about it (this is not an effective technique for improving  your relationship, by the way), or sometimes I'll have an emotion and express it, but when asked for evidence for why I feel the way I do, I will be unable to name a source, which makes me defensive, and I shut down.

This isn't to say that Ian and I fight a lot, because we really don't. We don't even argue all that often. But we do have misunderstandings and are constantly trying to make sure we're on the same page. Since Felicity's birth, this has become much more difficult as we're both getting less sleep, have less time for ourselves and as a couple, and perhaps because I have been struggling with feeling really low and thus am unmotivated and/or cranky, and so extra sensitive.

Isn't it interesting how I managed to look at the negative with this exercise? And here I was supposed to be thinking about and focusing on the good things I love about myself. I am a good partner. I am a good feminist. I am a good mother. I am a good human. I am a good scholar. I am a good daughter, sister, friend, and daughter-in-law.

Finding Joy [Part Two]

From Shelley Sealle's article on Finding Joy on austin.culturemap.com, today's prompt:

Make a list of “Happiness Islands.” These are places, things and activities that make you feel joyful and content. It might be music, traveling, time spent with a loved one, a hobby, working out, pampering, etc. Try to incorporate as many of these into your daily life as possible.

My "Happiness Islands"
Places:

• Riverside Park on a sunny afternoon
• The chaise in my living room, with a book and a warm beverage
• A cafe (my two favorites in the neighborhood are Max Cafe and the Hungarian Pastry Shop), with a book, pastry/cake/delicious something and a latte
• Reading a book in bed before falling asleep

Things:

• A good book 
• Giant tea-cups on saucers
• Warm beverages such as milk tea, black tea with milk, coffee with warm milk, or cocoa that can be put in said giant tea-cups with saucers
• The feel of my face at night after I've washed, exfoliated, and moisturized
• A warm towel from the dryer (a distant dream in our current apartment)
• A good cookbook
• A home-cooked meal that was satisfying to make (new recipe that was fun, maybe tried a new technique, or a steadfast favorite/comfort-food)
• A pretty, made bed
• A clean kitchen bathed in morning sunlight
• Warm baked goods
• Baby socks
• Clean sheets

Activities

• Reading a good book (surprise, surprise!), especially if it's out of the house, by myself
• Writing: working on my blog, free-writing for my thesis, or just writing for fun
• Reading to Felicity
• Spending time with Ian where we get to chat, like while we are playing a game, cooking together, eating dinner, talking in bed before we go to sleep, going on a walk, or just playing with the baby on the floor together. I think these are my favorite moments.
• Cooking something new and exciting
• Trying a new restaurant or a new dish
• Kick-boxing
• Yoga
• Making and eating breakfast with Ian in the morning
• Having a friend over for tea and conversation
• Walking in Riverside Park with another mom and baby duo
• Attending my moms' group on Friday mornings
• Holding a sleeping baby in my arms
• Having an "adventure" with Ian: going someplace new and/or unplanned, whether we're taking a weekend trip, going slightly off-course to find a brewery, or finding ourselves in a new part of the city with a few free hours 
• Receiving back- or head-rubs from Ian (especially when I'm not feeling well, or have a headache)
• Snuggling on the couch in a thick blanket with some Haagen Daaz to watch a movie or show

In looking over these things, I am reminded how easily I can be pleased. I am constantly surprised and a little embarrassed at how 'fussy' I am (our word of choice, an alternative to high maintenance, which I like to think I avoid but probably embody on a fairly regular basis), yet how quickly and easily I can be satiated, even excited. I used to consider myself extremely low maintenance, but it turns out that I need a lot of attention (constant pats, hugs, beeps, kisses, and compliments all day long).

As I write, the Columbia students have started their "Primal Cheer," the scream that happens at midnight before the semester finals start. They may have started a minute early (11:59, egads!), but this is as good an indication as any that it's time to turn off my computer and get into my cozy bed with my cleanish sheets and my warm, snuggly husband, and fall asleep.

Review: The Happiness Project

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



I have mixed emotions about this book. I really like what Rubin has done overall; I think it's immensely helpful to lead an examined life. Her method of finding what her own happiness project would look like was smart. By looking at the things that made her feel unhappy (guilt, regret, sadness, feeling out of control), she was able to target behaviors that would specifically target and change those outcomes. This is something that takes great insight and is difficult to honestly do.

She never really discusses it in her book, but I think that much of what this project did was make her more aware of how precious time is, and to live in the moment, maximizing her time as best as possible for fulfillment.

Her book is inspiring. While I don't want to commit to a full year of a happiness project, I certainly want to make a more conscientious effort to live in the moment, and this has given me good fodder to start examining my life and making certain resolutions that will improve my attitude and sense of well-being.

The negatives: I can't give this five stars because, as Rubin talked more and more about herself, I started to really dislike her. I found a lot of her anger and annoyance to be petty, and it seems like she is a little self-centered and can be quite rude to her husband, kids, and peers. Does she address this and try to change? Yes, a bit, but I think there is something a little deeper here that needs to be addressed.

Should you read it? If you think that you have the situation to be happy but aren't, or feel like you are missing out on your own life, then yes, at least skim it.




View all my reviews

Homemade Ricotta

My lovely friend Alli came over on Thursday to keep Felicity and I company, and she asked if I had ever made ricotta. No, I had not. What an intriguing idea, especially as I'd recently come across a ricotta recipe on Pinterest.

We went to the store. We bought our ingredients. We got to cooking once Felicity fell asleep. And it was really, unbelievably easy. 

We bought a lovley loaf of crusty french bread and made crostinis, and made the Honeyed Grape Compote with red grapes, which was amazing (although Ian is decidedly not a fan), with a side salad of arugula and pears, with a light balsamic-basil dressing. The next day, Ian and I ate the crostinis with the rest of the ricotta with some basil-infused olive oil stirred in, sundried tomatoes, and arugula.

So, if you haven't tried making ricotta yet and have 90 minutes to spare, get thee to thy kitchen!

Weekly Menu

I realize I haven't posted a menu in a couple of weeks. I have to admit that I didn't do anything last week, and we made several frantic trips Westside Market, and of course paid too much for everything.

Also, I'm officially over my obsession with Thai (or Thai-inspired) dishes with coconut milk in them, at least for the time being. I made Thai Vegetable Enchiladas with a coconut milk sauce last week, and it pushed me over the edge. It was delicious, but one person can only take some much.

Now I'm on to cakes. Lord, save me.

Weekly Menu
Braised Chicken with Dates and Moroccan Spices, served with couscous and sauteed kale 
Broccolini Cheddar Melts on Whole Wheat Bread
Leek & Farro Risotto (we're making this one up in attempts to use try out the Farro that has been sitting in our pantry for too long, ignored. I absolutely refuse to make a cold farro salad, seemingly the only type of farro recipes I can find online!)
Linguine Avgolemono with Artichoke Hearts and Green Beans (we are getting fresh pasta for this dish!)
New England Fish Chowder

Finding Joy [Part One]

I'm currently reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Although I cannot say I like her writing persona, her book is full of good insights. The general theme is: how can I make my life a happier one? Part of this is, of course, understanding what makes one happy and what does not. While there is a chapter on money and finances, she writes very clearly that money has little to do with actual happiness. Most of her time focuses on what makes her happy, be it clean closets or creating more "magic" in the lives of her children, finding practical ways to make these things happen, and tracking her experiences and results along the way.

I do relate with Rubin's introduction (at least I think it was the introduction); she wrote that she was on the bus and saw a busy and frazzled-looking mother, and realized that, although she had all of the tools to be happy (good marriage, loves her children, financial security, successful writing career), she did not actually feel happy most of the time.

Rubin hasn't mentioned this yet in her book (I'm about two-thirds of the way through), but it seems to me that the biggest change she makes in all of this is being more present and intentional in her life, moment to moment. Having Felicity has made me much more aware of time (although I feel like I perhaps waste more of it now than I did before?); I know this small baby (not so small anymore!) will only be small once, that I will only be able to hold her, give her thousands of kisses and hugs a day, and sing to her like I do for a short time. She is so innocent and lovely, and I know that it is important to value every moment with her.

I feel this way myself much of the time. It is amazing when I step back and see both the good in my life, and then to think about things that I let upset me. So, while I'm not going to commit to a year-long happiness project of my own (although I think this is a worthwhile venture and would like to at some point), I do want to be more intentional with my time, and be more present in my life and my decisions.

An article written by Shelley Seale on Culture Map has prompts to creating your own happiness project (finding joy), and I want to explore some of these prompts, starting with the first on her list:

Want what we have – not what we don’t. Happiness has less to do with our circumstances, than how we perceive them and how satisfied we are with what we have. Our feelings of contentment are strongly influenced by our tendency to compare; which is why the whole “keeping up with the Jones” mentality is such a debilitating spiral. But conversely, you can use comparison to shift your perspective and contemplate how things could be worse. Try this exercise: Complete the sentence “I’m glad I’m not _____.”

• I'm glad I'm not raising Felicity by myself; I'm so grateful that Ian is a true partner in every sense of the word.
• I'm glad I'm not in a dead-end job that I don't find fulfilling; while being a stay-at-home mom may not be my dream job, I'm thankful I'm not behind a desk and can spend all day with Felicity and witness her growth and be a part of her happiness.
• I'm glad I'm not in poor health; I'm grateful that I can walk without pain, that I'm not bed-ridden, and that I can enjoy the things I want to enjoy.
• I'm glad I'm not broke; yes, money is tight, but we have enough to make ends meet, take care of ourselves and Felicity with some comfort, and still have a little leftover to save for the future. Sometimes I have to remind myself of the situations I used to see when I was a financial counselor to put our finances in perspective (we are not behind in rent, we have money for utilities, we have money to eat out occasionally, and to buy new clothes and toiletries when needed).
• I'm glad I'm not a bad cook; how wonderful that I enjoy cooking, love to eat my veggies, and can enjoy this activity with Ian several times a week.
• I'm glad I'm not taking care of an elderly or sick parent; I am fully aware that this may be in the cards for the future and will gladly do it if and when the times comes, but I am grateful that we don't have the additional financial stress or emotional burden of taking this on right now.
• I'm glad I'm not pregnant; I'm really happy to just have one baby to worry about right now!
• I'm glad I'm not in a drama-filled relationship; it is easy (most of the time) to be married to Ian, and I'm so grateful that we are both adults that can communicate well, resolve problems, and work together towards making our future as good as it can be. 

It feels strange to do a comparison sort of gratitude list, but it's true that humans love to compare themselves with others, and I certainly am aware that I'm prone to do this myself.