Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Mindfulness Project: Week Three [Review]

Mindfulness Project: Week One [Week One Review]
Mindfulness Project: Week Two  [Week Two Review]
Mindfulness Project: Week Three

To be honest, week three of the Mindfulness Project has been really difficult. I think I did formal, sitting meditation once, walking meditation three times. On the flip side, my daily mindfulness seems to be improving; I've been somewhat successful in mindfulness when I drink water (no tea or coffee this week for me!), remembering to stop and breathe much of the time. I am successful at the sitting and standing mindfulness less often, but I'm improving. And of course the mindfulness bell on my computer is helpful, as always.

I was also pleased that I stumbled into a natural walking meditation gatha:
With each step I take,
My mind is alert, my heart open.
I breathe in love,
I exhale compassion.

Despite a spotty meditation practice, I've been feeling much better this week. I'm sleeping again, better than I've slept in a few months, and I'm feeling better, overall. The mindfulness has helped me decrease anxiety and stress.
The biggest change? I was able to actually determine that the source of my anxiety was... my thesis topic. Couldn't work, couldn't sleep. And we all know what happens when one can't sleep. Personally, I become a cranky, demanding hellion! To quote Ian (after bringing me home an impromptu gift), "It was hard to choose you this morning." He did, of course.

I'm meeting with my thesis chair tomorrow, but I have an idea for another project, a project that isn't causing me to lose sleep or feel like an incompetent crazy person (time will tell!). 

So, as we start Week Four, I'm making a commitment to actually do the sitting meditation, every day. I may as well give up this project if I'm not going to fully commit to it, so commit to it I shall.